Blissfully Domestic

Helping Your Children With Their Homework

Homework is not fun, for the student or the parent.  And, in all honesty, not too fun for the teacher (who grades it) either.  Here are some ways you can help your child be successful with homework.

• Provide a quiet work environment, but recognize that some kids do do better with soft music playing in the background.  Provide easy access to any needed materials.

• Set aside a certain time each day for homework.  Right after school isn't always best as sometimes kids need time to work off some energy first.  But, for some, that may be the best time.

• Make sure your child understands the directions before they begin.

• The teacher does not care how well you can summarize a social studies chapter or how well you know your times tables.  Explain concepts to your child if he doesn't understand, but be sure the homework is done by your child.  If she cannot correct mistakes on her own, leave them.  Your child's teacher needs to know that your child needs to practice this skill some more.

• Your child's struggles with a subject does not mean you are a bad parent.  Contacting your child's teacher to discuss what more can be done shows that you want your child to be successful and are ready and willing to help.

• Most important, remind your child to turn in the assignment!  No matter how long you spend on homework, if your child doesn't turn it in, it most likely will not count.

What are your tips for homework success?

Photo by lusi

Bedtime Without the Battle

Even with a good routine in place, bedtime can sometimes still be a struggle.

In order to get my three-year old focused on all that goes with getting ready for bed (as opposed to running away from me and hiding) I started giving him a time limit.

He gets 15-20 minutes during which he needs to try to go to the bathroom, get his pajamas on, brush his teeth and read stories with mom or dad.  If he's not cooperative during the less fun parts, there is less time for stories. 

  A friend had good luck with creating a bedtime chart.There is a picture for each part of the bedtime routine and after each thing is done, her son can move it to a different part of the chart.

What are your tips for a stress-free bedtime?

Photo by cperoni

Artwork That's Easy to Keep

Children often enjoy creating beautiful works of art.  As a parent there's always the struggle of what to keep, it's fun to document your child's growth as an artist, but there's just not room enough to keep it all!  Here are two ways you can preserve your child's artwork:

Let them paint a canvas - In my family room, I have two canvases that my three year old painted.  I think they make fabulous wall hangings.  Mine are large, but you can purchase smaller canvases too. 

Create a scrapbook - My son loves taking pictures and so every now and then I'll print some and let him scrapbook them.  You could also scrap your child's artwork instead of photos.

Reclaiming Myself, One Day at a Time

A few weeks ago, I took a hard look at myself in the mirror and realized that I did not like the person that was looking back at me. I was always running, always going, and never had any time to really enjoy myself anymore. Do you ever feel that way?

I have been doing a little busyness detox program and trying to reclaim back some of the person that I used to be...you know, the person I was before I had my fabulous children. I never realized though how much my self-esteem and my livelihood seemed to step from my busyness. If I was not always bemoaning how busy I was, what in the world would I even have to talk about?

Here are some things that I have begun doing to reclaim my time and my old self back:

1. I am saying no to activities and events that are causing me to feel so busy. I took a close look at my calendar and realized that the majority of the things on it were optional and I didn't necessarily need to go to everything that I had written down. Not only do my days feel less stressful, but saving on gas right now is an added bonus.

2. I started exercising again. Now that my days were cleared, I felt like I could make time to exercise again. I found a way to get a free gym membership, and I began taking some classes to start getting my body back in shape. What a difference three days at the gym can make for more overall attitude as a mother, wife, and friend. I have more energy and I feel better about myself when I can carve out this time.

3. I picked up a hobby and have started learning to knit. I am not good at it, but I am learning and this little hobby has helped to calm me in the evenings... a time when I tend to feel the most wired and stressed. The kids and I spend "creative time" together and they draw pictures while I knit. I love that they are witnessing me being creative and that we can have this special time together.

4. I slowed down on the things that suck up the majority of my time...mainly the computer and the television. I replaced this time with conversations with my husband, time spent hanging out with the kids, reading books, and spending time baking in the kitchen. I love being on the computer and watching television, but I am learning to set time limits on these so that I have more time to fill it with family.

These are just some of the changes I have made, but each day I feel more and more like my old self. Guess what? I like her a whole lot more and so does my family!

Sound Off: Are you a busy bee? What are some things you could do to reclaim some of your former self?

Say Yes!

Featured Author

by Kelly Curtis, M.S. from Pass the Torch

Have you seen my book yet?

About five years ago, I had foot surgery and during a rather painful recovery, my home office chair broke and needed to be sent back to the manufacturer. With very calculated movements, so as to not further injure a sore foot, one morning I got down on the floor to begin disassembling the chair for shipment.

I was irritable from the pain and had just begun to work on the first bolt when my four-year-old son appeared. My immediate thought was, "Oh, please don't tell me you need something!" But instead, his simple question was, "Can I help you mommy?"

In so many situations, a four-year-old's help is really NOT help, but rather just a valuable experience. The UPS truck could have been coming within the hour or I could have been assembling the chair, rather than taking it apart. But this was a perfect opportunity - and it didn't have to ship until afternoon. My answer was "YES". I loosened all the bolts and handed him the tools.

As I got back on the couch with my foot up and iced, there was a running conversation between us, with multiple expressions of "I DID it!" He problem-solved, found new ways of using the tools and ultimately, with very limited guidance and assistance, finished the job he offered to start. This was much more than a valuable experience for him - this was an important contribution. And the reason he did it? "'Cuz I didn't want your foot to hurt."

Certainly, young children are willing to help, love to do what you do and they are very impressionable and moldable. It can be relatively easy to empower young children even when it is the adult's idea, rather than the child's. Teenagers, on the other hand, tend to be more wary and their defenses are far better established, though their needs are quite similar. The beauty of this example with my son is that it was entirely HIS idea. He had ownership of it from the very beginning. My most important role in the process was to say "YES".

What will you say the next time you have the opportunity to empower a child? Prepare to say YES!

Kelly Curtis is a Wisconsin school counselor and author of Empowering Youth:  How to Encourage Young Leaders to Do Great Things.  To read more about Kelly, please visit her Weblog, Pass the Torch.