Say Yes!
May 10th, 2008 by Kelly Curtis
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by Kelly Curtis, M.S. from Pass the Torch
Have you seen my book yet?
About five years ago, I had foot surgery and during a rather painful recovery, my home office chair broke and needed to be sent back to the manufacturer. With very calculated movements, so as to not further injure a sore foot, one morning I got down on the floor to begin
disassembling the chair for shipment.
I was irritable from the pain and had just begun to work on the first bolt when my
four-year-old son appeared. My immediate thought was, "Oh, please don't
tell me you need something!" But instead, his simple question was,
"Can I help you mommy?"
In so many situations, a four-year-old's help is really NOT help, but rather
just a valuable experience. The UPS truck could have been coming within the
hour or I could have been assembling the chair, rather than taking it apart.
But this was a perfect opportunity - and it didn't have to ship until
afternoon. My answer was "YES". I loosened all the bolts and handed
him the tools.
As I got back on the couch with my foot up and iced, there was a running
conversation between us, with multiple expressions of "I DID it!" He
problem-solved, found new ways of using the tools and ultimately, with very
limited guidance and assistance, finished the job he offered to start. This was
much more than a valuable experience for him - this was an important
contribution. And the reason he did it? "'Cuz I didn't want your foot to
hurt."
Certainly, young children are willing to help, love to do what you do and they
are very impressionable and moldable. It can be relatively easy to empower
young children even when it is the adult's idea, rather than the child's.
Teenagers, on the other hand, tend to be more wary and their defenses are far
better established, though their needs are quite similar. The beauty of this
example with my son is that it was entirely HIS idea. He had ownership of it
from the very beginning. My most important role in the process was to say
"YES".
What will you say the next time you have the opportunity to empower a child?
Prepare to say YES!
Kelly Curtis is a Wisconsin school counselor and author of Empowering Youth: How to Encourage Young Leaders to Do Great Things. To read more about Kelly, please visit her Weblog, Pass the Torch.
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